I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize