Will you blow on my dice?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize