I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
