I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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