are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
