I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize