I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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