At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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