HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
