ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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