If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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