just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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