This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
