Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
