I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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