hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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