Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
