Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I look better un-naked...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
