smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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