Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
