PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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