I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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