dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
