No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
