I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
