It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
