only if we run a train.
done.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
