Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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