Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
