i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
