so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
