Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
