flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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