She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
What drink are we having for lunch?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
