You're earring is so big in my mouth
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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