Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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