11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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