Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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