Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
