That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
