apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
