so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
