FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize