Where did you get a picture of my penis
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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