Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
