she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
