We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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