I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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