hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
