Where is the hickey?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
