Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
