this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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