i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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