A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
