Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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