worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
