it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
