how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
