i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Randomize
