i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
