We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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