Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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