would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
