I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize