How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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